Click Photo to Enlarge
© Copyright 1989-2010 KKB Enterprises, Ltd.
Please be advised that this Web site, all of it's sub-sites, and all other material contained herein are the intellectual property of this Web site, and more specifically Kelly K. Bartram.
All references to the Federal Republic of Nassau West, or its agencies, bureaus, departments, etc., are purely fictitious, and are for entertainment purposes only!
No part of this work may be used or reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written consent of Kelly K. Bartram. All rights reserved, damn 'ya!
All other copyrights, logos, service marks, trademarks, etc., used on this site are property of their respective owners.
All nude or scantily-clad female models appearing on this Web site were over the age of eighteen (18) years at the time the photograph was erected.
Kelly K. Bartram is available for a limited time to legal female US Citizens, aged 21 years old or older. Offer void where prohibited. Restrictions apply.
100117 2054 Against all odds, a great weekend was had, despite all efforts to the contrary. Nassau West Presidential Chief of Staff Seth O'Brien visited the Benson Embassy this weekend, and the visit went all weekend uninterrupted by labor issues.
Seth and I both arrived at the Embassy very late on Friday night. I was late due to a nice 13-hour work day, and Seth was massively delayed in Interstate 10 construction traffic. The trip from Phoenix to Benson usually takes about two and a half hours, his trip took almost FOUR hours!
We went on a pretty major shooting excursion into the Tombstone Mining District with Nassau West Secretary of the Interior Carey Granger and Nassau West Senior Arizona Ambassador from Tombstone, Richard Yates. It was so much fun - I haven't had that much fun with that many guns in a long time! We were going to go exploring in the mining district, but we ran out of time. Mining will have to be next time.
Today we had a late breakfast (about 12:30) at the Apple Farm Restaurant here in Benson. De-lish! I love that place! Other than that, we pretty much just chilled until Seth left about 3:30. Since that time, I've accomplished nothing ... just hanging out on Facebook.
I did make a nice dinner of pizza and wings, which Ivan "the Terrible" enjoyed on my bed while I wasn't paying attention. I had a nice status on Facebook that started out being about hugs. I posted a picture (which is the same as the one on this page at this time) of me hugging a tree. Within moments, with the hug status and hug picture, online I had become an alcoholic, tree-humping degenerate. I had a good laugh at all the comments people left about me and my affection towards trees. All in all a very good weekend!
Comments? 100101 1824 Wow! What a year, what a decade! Luckily, they're both over! No more ots (e.g. 2009=20 ot 9). Now why did I bother wasting precious space and time with that dissertation? If you didn't know what an "ot" was, you probably don't care any more than you did now that you know what an "ot" is. While I'm on a roll, today is also very binary ... 010110. Oh, well, Happy New Year, anyway.
My vacation is quickly drawing to a close. I'm not happy about that. I really didn't get much accomplished during said vacation. Yesterday, while in Flagstaff, my parking brake refused to release due to being frozen. I took the car, literally dragging rear wheels in the snow, to Jiffy Lube for a much overdue oil change. Luckily, the car is front wheel drive, and since I always get synthetic oil, being overdue wasn't a big deal. After sitting in their heated garage for about 15 minutes, the brakes released, which made going home much easier.
I got to see a friend from high school while passing through Prescott Valley. Jessica Schoumaker (formerly Bandera) met my friend Ricky and I at Zeke's Eatin' Place for a beer. Well, Guinness Kaliber for me, three of them. They were OK, but I prefer O'Doul's Amber over the other non-alcoholic brews. Anyway, it was great to see her again. I got a nice picture with her. I'm glad I did, too, because of the nasty weather, it was the only picture I got that day!
Comments? 091222 1142 It's amazing how much things can change in a few weeks! A lot of things have changed for the better, some have not.
Ivan continues to get more popular. He has been invited to Indianapolis to celebrate New Years. I'm allowed to accompany him. It's about 3,400 miles roundtrip, so I don't know if this will happen. It would be a nice change from the usual drunken debauchery. Ha!
The house has not been re-TP'd, which is nice. A construction project has been started on the NW corner of the house to make a wheelbarrow-ready ramp from the high front yard to the low side yard. This project was started two weeks ago and remains unfinished. It's a rather grandiose plan, and should be very nice when completed. Unfortunately, lack of knowledge of what I'm doing and funding are holding things up a bit.
I start vacation on Friday (Christmas Day), which will continue until Sunday, January 3, 2010. I'm not sure what I will do with it. I had originally planned to use the week to write a book. Yeah, that's right ... me, writing a book. Who'd have thunk?
That is all for now.
Comments? 091129 2027 I hope everyone in cyberspace had a nice Thanksgiving. Ivan and I went to Fairbank, AZ, (near Tombstone) and had a Thanksgiving Picnic. It was great. Fairbank is a ghost town on the banks of the San Pedro River. I sat Ivan in some big, broad, crunchy leaves thinking he'd like that. The crunchy noises scared him and he was not interesting in rolling around in the leaves like I thought he would be. Apparently, he doesn't like being near water, either. I did get some nice photos of him, as much as he didn't make it easy.
Ivan just keeps getting more popular with age ... I wish I did. He has more Web exposure than almost anyone I know. He has his own Web site (BadAssIvan.com), he has a MySpace page, he has a deviantART page, and he has a YouTube page. Over the weekend, Ivan got his own fan page on Facebook, which can be found by searching for "Ivan the Terrible". In less than 48 hours he has gotten 44 fans. Unbelievable!
Since the last update, my house was TP'd again, but not as much the second time. I think they got caught doing it. It hasn't happened again since. Ivan still has not identified those responsible. I think he was sleeping on the job and therefore is unable to identify the perpetrators. Oh, well.
After many, many years of misery, I got the pleasure of telling Wells Fargo & Co. where they could stick it -- I closed my account after ten years of paying overdraft fees. They said they were sorry to see me go. Yeah, I bet they were at $35 for each overdraft! Now, all of my banking is done with USBank. So far, not too many complaints (from either party).
And finally, UofA beat ASU ... hahaha! My 49'ers won ... hahaha! My Suns are NUMBER 1 in the NBA ... hahaha! Tomorrow, we get back to "normal" (only being understaffed by one instead of two) at work. The only person with any vacation left is me. I will be taking off from December 25 until January 3, which includes two unpaid holidays, four paid vacation days, and four weekend days, for a total of ten consecutive days off. I need 'em!
Comments? 091118 1257 Well, well, well. Where do I start? Last Friday (11/13), I took Ivan "the Terrible" to work with me, and then on to the Payson, AZ, area for a weekend camping excursion. Little did we know that it would be (literally) freezing cold there! It was great to see the brothers O'Brien, and it was great to escape my very stressful life for a little bit. Even with the cold and the hours-long car rides, I think Ivan enjoyed it, too.
Monday night, after working a nice twelve hour day, I returned to a TP'd home. For any of you not familiar with the term, TP means toilet paper, and some delinquents decided that my house needed some. I immediately spent about 15 minutes removing toilet paper from my thorny trees and cacti. Fun. I also cleaned up a paintball spot on the side of the house. I noticed another one today while backing out to go to work, so I'll have to clean that one whenever I get home tonight. Bastards.
Ivan "the Terrible", both a federal marshal and a border patrol agent for the Federal Republic of Nassau West, was almost arrested Tuesday night by the Presidential Security Service for a laundry list of charges. Mr. "The Terrible" may still be arrested at some point in the near future, as the investigation continues.
Comments? 091111 2051 Happy Veterans' Day to all the people who have served, are serving, or will serve our great nation in the armed forces. As we all know, this is the land of the free BECAUSE it's also the home of the brave. Thank you so much for your service!
In other news, today was pay day, and as expected, I received nothing for my 13 hours of Saturday work that brought in almost $1800 for the company at my expense. But, some people tell me I shouldn't complain and that I'm lucky I have a job. OK, to those people, you come work for free all the time and see how you like it. Also, let us not forget that doing this work COST ME about $50 for a football game ticket and fuel that I had to pay for. Oh, well, it's just money, right?
The annual deadline for extending the yearly labor agreement is rapidly approaching. If the decision is to vacate this job, notice must be filed no later than Monday, November 30. This is to allow adequate time to hire and train a replacement. The Nassau West Transportation Workers' Union has made their extreme displeasure with this agreement known, and the Department of Labor has yet to make a decision.
Finally, thus far, I have declined two offers from the Phoenix area for Thanksgiving dinner. As much as I appreciate the offers, and I do, I have to work open to close all of the next two weeks. We have normal work days on both sides of Thanksgiving Thursday, and that's an awful lot of driving for dinner. Ivan and I will have what will hopefully be our last Thanksgiving dinner here at the house.
Comments? 091106 2317 Oh, in all the mayhem, hate, and discontent, I forgot to mention that this past Sunday (Nov. 1), was six months of sobriety and no smoking. Why do I say no smoking but not no drinking, you are wondering? Well, I'll tell you why.
Shortly after I quit drinking, which mind you was by my own choice, I decided to have an O'Doul's non-alcoholic beer. I was immediately scolded by purists that my cessation had failed as O'Doul's DOES, in fact, have alcohol in it. It's a trace amount (0.5% alc/vol). It would take about 30 of them to equal the alcohol in ONE "real" beer, and quite a few more to equal the alcohol in the dark beers I'd normally drink.
Seemingly needless to say, I thought this line of reasoning was asinine, to say the least. Well, I got past that, and did not return to "real" beer or my beloved Bourbon. However, last Saturday night in Tombstone, I did have one (1) standard shot of Elijah Craig 18-Year-Old Single Barrel Bourbon. I made that thing last 15 minutes, and I enjoyed EVERY drop of it. I also never lost my sobriety, as one shot probably wouldn't make even a kid drunk. I've not had another drop. Next shot: 1 year.
So, if you're a purist, then I guess I failed. Tough shit. It's my recovery, not yours. I am damn proud of myself, and no one can take that away.
Comments? 091106 2112 About twenty minutes before closing at work tonight (Friday), I was informed of a truckload of deliveries for Saturday that are to be completed by 9 PM. There are six deliveries for Tucson and one for Sierra Vista (about 90 miles SE of Tucson). Well, of course, since the illustrious employer waited until near close time, all the drivers were off enjoying their effin' weekend.
Take a wild guess which salaried dumb ass now loses their weekend ... for FREE?! That's right, you're good at this, the correct answer is KKB. Never mind the fact that tickets had already been purchased for the effin' U of A homecoming game Saturday. Never mind the fact that it's not my effin' on-call weekend. The guy whose weekend it is already has work to do, which makes it necessary for a second person (me).
The decision has been made. This crap is coming to an end. Going back to Scottsdale: broke or not. Anyone want to buy a place in Benson? Please?!
Comments? 091106 1259 Well, after working more than half of my life, I have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up ... a photographer. I have spent almost 15 years in an industry that provides me with no bragging rights whatsoever. At the end of the day, what can I point to? Nothing.
It's time to change that. Now that I've decided on a career, I'll have to busy myself developing a course of action to get me there and out of here!
Comments? 091105 2325 Welcome to the new kbartram Light! The old format, although highly enjoyable (to me), was so cluttered and busy that I think it drove people away.
If you're coming to this site, you're either doing so because you actually know me and want to see what's going on in my world, or you're a total stranger that has stumbled upon this site by accident.
Either way, you can get world news anywhere. However, if you want the insanity that is KKB, you can only get it here ... and a few other places. The links at the top of the page can expose more of the "soft underbelly" and inner workings of KKB.
Comments?
NOTE: The following entry has been HEAVILY censored to make it more palatable for any potential readers with delicate sensibilities.
