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100419 2244 FACEBOOK: Kelly K Bartram It's just one of those days ...
100418 0105 FACEBOOK: Kelly K Bartram prayed for a dying fish he saw laying in the road this evening while returning to work. It's bedtime now, time to sort out the hypocrisy issues involved with praying while being agnostic.
Comments? 100415 2040 WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY - Don't forget to mark your calendars.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim males to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide. So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America!
P.S. It is your patriotic duty to inform others. If you don't send to at least 1 person, you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are possible aiding and abetting terrorists. =)
Comments? 100404 1731 Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."
Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!
I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck ...
Comments? 100403 2142 Happy Easter! I hope you enjoy the "peep" show! ;)
IN OTHER NEWS, I have now completed eleven months of smoke-free sobriety. May 1 will be one year. Much to the dismay of some, a very special celebration for the one year anniversary has been planned. This event will take place in Tombstone on Saturday, May 1. Anyone that wishes to be present is invited and welcome.
At some point on Saturday evening, I will stroll over to the Crystal Palace Saloon for ONE mug of Killian's Irish Red. After completing that, I will go outside and enjoy a Punch Gran Puro cigar. The cigar should take long enough to consume that the alcohol from the beer will have passed through my system. At this point, I will mosey over to Big Nose Kate's Saloon for my ONE shot of Elijah Craig 18-Year-Old Single Barrel Bourbon, which will be sipped rather than shot. This will not result in a loss of sobriety, and conclude the one year celebration.
IN MORE OTHER NEWS, I am in the process (finally) of installing a door in the guest room. As the reader may or may not be aware, the original door was destroyed in an alcohol-fueled rage in January of 2009. This empty doorway has been one of many constant reminders of my battle with alcohol. Looking around the house at all the broken shit has been pretty good motivation for continuing my sobriety!
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