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100722 2147 Michigan J. Frog Executed at Tucson Business
For most of us, Wednesday, July 21, was "hump day", like it usually is. For a former cartoon star, Michigan J. Frog, it was execution day. Little did the former actor know that this day would be his last when he was discovered by a couple of employees at a trucking company in Tucson.
Nassau West Sheriff Kelly Bartram arrived at the facility about 10 AM and was aprised of the situation regarding Frog, who at this time was outside the facility, hiding under a staircase. Video evidence showed that Frog was prodded with sticks, pushed around with a broom, and a couple of times a fork lift was used in two failed attempts to crush him.
Sheriff Bartram was disgusted by the video footage showing the assault and ejection of Frog from the building by the two employees. Bartram proceeded to offer limited medical assistance to Frog, who seemed to be in a daze and somewhat unresponsive, according to Bartram.
Later in the day, Bartram and another of the company's employees attempted to relocate Frog to a shady area with a temporary pool of water. At approximately 2:15 PM, Frog was discovered to be completely unresponsive and was pronounced dead. A very dejected Sheriff announced the passing of Michigan J. Frog about 2:30 PM yesterday afternoon.
Realizing jurisdictional boundaries and realizing the inability to bring charges against the offenders, he proceeded to do so regardless. The Nassau West Sheriff's Department Incident Report indicates eight charges for one and nine charges for the other, based on interviews with the then-suspects, now admitted offenders.
In memoriam of Michigan J. Frog, please enjoy the following clip from his heyday in film. Rest in Peace, Michigan J. Frog.
100722 2107 Think Twice Before Using Your Webcam - Philips Advertisement
100711 1819 Why California is Broke Contributed via Email by Stanley Field · Comments? 100705 2042 A Glass of Wine Contributed via Email by Jeni Nelson · Comments? 100705 1333 Please Read and Pass On ... 100705 1330 Sierra Vista's 4th of July (on the 4th)
100704 1404 FACEBOOK: Kelly K Bartram Take a listen to New Normal Music, it's good stuff, and it's free. They're currently playing 50,000 songs in a row -- no commercials. If you don't love it, I'll give you your money back! ;)
100704 1301 Lee Greenwood - God Bless the U.S.A.
100704 1256 Neil Diamond - America
100704 1146 FACEBOOK: Kelly K Bartram is enjoying tiramisu bar cake, which is way above his pay grade, while celebrating America's 234th Birthday ... with a Mocha Frappuccino! :P
Comments? 100704 0043 Lipstick in School Contributed via Email by Jeni Nelson · Comments? 100704 0000 Happy 234th Birthday, America!
Comments? 100703 2329 Benson's 4th of July on the 3rd
Fireworks finale, courtesy of the City of Benson, AZ, on Saturday, July 3rd, NOT the 4th. While I object to this, I'll leave the politics out of it (believe me, it's harder than you think). Enjoy! =)
100703 1917 FACEBOOK: Kelly K Bartram is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Kelly K Bartram may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Kelly K Bartram is right for you.
Comments? 100703 1836 The Best Story of the Year
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation woud like to express praise for answered prayers. Susie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my dear wife that the word is 'sternum' -- not 'scrotum.'"
Contributed via Email by Jeni Nelson · Comments? 100703 1503 Splinters
A woman from Los Angeles, CA who was a tree hugger, a Democrat, and vehemently against hunting, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, what took you so long?!
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."
Contributed via Email by Jeni Nelson · Comments?
California: Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 upon relocating it. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases.
Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting bite wound bandaged. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals. Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease. Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for letting the Governor intervene. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the state.
Arizona: Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. Buzzards eat dead coyote.
And that is why California is broke.
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine ... and those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand.
As Ben Franklin said, "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop annually.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information ... I'm doing it as a public service.
Governors of 35 states have already filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.
This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on.
An idea whose time has come.
For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform that is being considered... In all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop. This is a good way to do that. It is an idea whose time has come.
Have each person contact a minimum of twenty people on their Address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise. In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one proposal that really should be passed around.
Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: 'Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States.'
Comments?
According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12 year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers ... and then there are educators.
Hey, dammit, where's the rest?!
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