Dear Iran,

Please be advised that it is my belief that the Federal Government of the United States of America is currently studying ways to compel you to comply with the international consensus and demands that you immediately cease and desist with your nuclear ambitions.

I think that it is fairly obvious that a country with a leader that is crazier than a shithouse rat should not be permitted to own one single solitary molecule of nuclear material, let alone all the centrifuges to enrich the material and the missiles to deliver the material.

Perhaps since the majority of the nation there still lives in mud huts under the most extreme totalitarianism that Iran has seen in quite some time, I suppose it stands to reason that the country has a silent majority in place.

It is unfortunate for that silent majority that would be struck down (killed by hanging or beheading) for having a voice of opposition to the supreme DICKtator there. Incidentally, I won't even begin to try to attempt to think about the possibility of spelling his name. So, we'll just call him the crazy DICKtator.

As you may be aware, their crazy DICKtator on a number of occasions, at least three that I know of, has made it quite clear that he would like to see Israel wiped off the map. Currently, Iran already possesses missiles that are well within range of Israel.

It would appear that U.S. President George W. Bush may have had enough of this insane rhetoric from this particular crazy DICKtator. I believe that sometime between right this minute and the November elections, probably October (what a nice birthday present for me!), the United States military will launch an attack of major proportions against Iran and their crazy DICKtator.

Unlike every skirmish since the end of World War II, I further believe that in the war against Iran, we will finally do what we should have done a long time ago in this region of the world. I think that this time, we will remind the world who the hell we are. I think we will use tactical nuclear weapons.

Hopefully, once this is over, which I don't think will take long, the world will get off our collective ass about everything. This is our time. Let those who disagree experience the wrath of the United States of America.

So, Iran, in closing, stick that in your hookah pipe and smoke it!